Reasons God Glad To Be Taken Out Of The Schools

10. Anti-vax kids make him uncertain he should have let up on the flood.

9. Construction-paper turkeys made from the drawings of hands remind him of groups that just collect hands.

8. Not even HE thinks freshman girls were that developed a while a ago.

7. Bitch Amber not even impressed by chariot pulled by 40 flaming white horses? Whatever!

6. Hell, kids from the wealthier suburb have even nicer flaming white horses than HIM!

5. When will the fad with teachers not wearing robes and posing for statues end?

4. Frustrating to see kids who should have fallen off merry-go-round a few times by now.

3. Wouldn’t have invented cursive if he hadn’t wanted to SEE some of it!

2. Standardized tests REALLY inefficient use of graphite and cheating.

1. If he wanted to hear constant prayers for “Dakota to like me”, he would have stayed in LA.